No one likes pain! At least I do not, not on this side of the journey, anyway. However, I do understand that such is apart of the process. I am reminded of the old saying, “No pain, No Gain?!” I reject that–most seriously and half-heartedly. Perhaps, this is just an ontological debate I need to have with the Creator, about the necessity of pain! (LOL)
I lived through over five years of severe chronic physical pain. Antidepressants, analgesics, opiates provided very little relief. I remember being heavily medicated on a host of medications nodding, drowsy but still hurting. In hindsight, I now recognize that I had a lot of untreated emotional pain. The imbalance of my emotions yield physical pain within my body. Anger and anxiety yielded intense abdominal pain. Stress will kill! My asthma remained erratic due to living on an emotional roller-coaster. Psychosomatic stress is real! As I began to detox and cleanse my body physically from the cocktails of medication, I had greater work to do in treating and healing the psychological wounds.
As I drove home today wounded and weeping, I was reminded of my little discussion that I have with my God. I’m not here for these tears, I’m not here for this soul hurt today. Then, I, too, realize that was a great thing. I found healing, surrender and peace in those tears–a weird, unexplainable grace. As one tear shed after the other, I felt less overwhelmed, less pain. Release.
Pain, grace, tears….
release of fear,
release of guilt,
release of shame!
I guess I will think of my pain, like these planks, I will overcome it! Sweat=Tears and guess what…
I am STRONGER! The God who dwells within me is ALL POWERFUL! So, MY PAIN is indeed MY GAIN! 🙌