Grieving a living, breathing human being who is often within reach, an arms length away, is one of the most difficult things I have had to experience.
Hope then becomes difficult, because hope teaches us to believe that one day that grief will be no more. Yet, it is perpetual, never-ending, breath-taking. Perhaps, the hope becomes an inward, transformative process that allows healing and nurturing from all of creation itself.
While the neglect from the one whose womb withheld and protected me from the world hurts most intricately, I can perhaps accept the embrace of stranger and coworker as an opportunity to be renewed, refilled and refreshed.
20 years later, I must gain new perspective. Her capacity to provide a “mothers love” may have been diminished by life’s circumstances or perhaps, our relationship has merely ceased. I’m okay. I have the capacity to give, receive and nurture healthy fulfilling relationships. I do. Indeed, my focus must change.
While the wounds heal, the brokenness mends, I open myself to the mutual, flourishing, unselfish, forgiving love of Creation.